Wednesday, December 30, 2009


I hope this finds everyone doing well after all the Christmas hoopla.

I've just been lying low since Christmas ended, not having much to do nor post about.

However, I guess I'll start with the gifts from Ed and B:

From Ed:

'Glittens' (only mine are purple striped):

Black beanie (mine has three colored stripes on the bottom--I wear a lot of beanies this time of year):

A Bohemian type scarf (something else I wear a lot of):

Clog type slippers (exactly like these only in gray):

'Guesstures' (a game of Charades--it's a blast!):

And a glass bowl for holding votive candles (short and round like this one, only it's maroon and glass, not coconut--ha! Couldn't find anything else similar to post):

He also got me a few pairs of warm, fuzzy socks.

Just a bunch of nice little things that I really enjoy.

From B:

Two pairs of fleece pajama bottoms: one with peace signs and the other with snowmen (EXACTLY what I wanted and asked for!):

So, I've just been really enjoying my new items and the thoughtfulness and time Ed and B both took.

Yesterday, B and I took down all of our Christmas decorations--what a chore! As much as I love Christmas, I'm not one of these people that wait until the New Year to remove them. I'm simply ready to get over it, mourn the holidays and move on already so I can get onto the next thing.

The 'next thing' being, of course, our bankruptcy hearing set for Monday, January 11th.

Ed and I still have to do the post-filing on-line credit counseling and from there, it's out of our hands and in the hands of a court appointed mediator who determines our fate. Our attorney feels that it's pretty cut and dry but one never knows.

Even though the $1000.00 a month garnishment has stopped and we were able to manage a nice Christmas (and for the first time in a year, we actually have a little money in the bank left after bills, gas, groceries, Christmas, etc.) I nonetheless have this constant gnawing in my gut.

That is something that I'm simply used to--waiting for the other shoe to drop--and I imagine that it will stay there for a while.

We still have a son we're trying to put through junior college--expensive in it's own right just in books alone--and fees have gone up. So, there's not going to be a lot we can do differently.

I'm sure this makes me seem like a 'glass is half empty kind of gal', but kindly keep in mind that after a year of head-spinning and heartbreaking financial somersaults and setbacks, that old habits really are hard to break.

I may have mentioned before that I've become reclusive, rarely leaving my house: my neurosis and FEAR simply being another symptom of what we've been through.

The constant panic-stricken feeling remains.

Again, there's no handbook for this.

And while I've made no 'New Years resolutions' (except maybe to not start a sentence with 'And'! Nor do we have any definitive New Years Eve plans--I'll likely just set out some nibbles--not to be confused with 'nipples'-ha!--for any of the kids who stop by), I guess I really need to start learning to not only seek out happiness now, but to recognize it when it's in my midst.

To quote a line from one of my favorite movies, 'The Big Chill':

"I haven't met that many happy people in my life, how do they act?"

Guess I'll have to try and find out.

"I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." ~Charles Dickens

So, in closing my last post for 2009, thank you all for making these last few months of this year more bearable for me--especially Steven Anthony, Allen, Andrea, Herrad (stay strong, sweet lady!) and Meeko. Your friendship is immeasurable.

And to Jo (from 'Jo's Corner'--see a few posts below to learn more about this brave woman)--thank you for sharing your life with me. You are in my daily thoughts--and my heart.

To all my readers and bloggers, I wish you all everything that is good in 2010.

I wish that for us all.

Have a fun and safe New Years Eve.

See you next year.

Peace, love, happiness and health,


  1. My friend...I love your style!

    I understand the anxious feelings, Ive become somewhat of a hermit myself, ever since moms death...everytime I trey and get out I have a panic attack....Ill make you a deal, I will try and get out at least once a week for no other reason than getting out if you will...we can be each others support group;)

    much love and happiness to you in 2010

  2. I hope this new year brings you so much joy and happiness. After all that you have been through this year, you really deserve it. Maybe that other shoe just won't drop. Happy New Year!

  3. Hugs Jo!

    I had to go through a bankruptcy in 1998, and although some laws have changed, it's still a really hard, really crummy thing to go through. You will survive, and you will be better for it. That I can say for sure!!

    Happy New Year and thank you for visiting me on my special SITS Day!

  4. Best of luck to you. I admire your moxy.

  5. HAPPY NEW YEAR, Jo....and all the best in 2010 to you and your family. Keep strong my friend and things will fall where they should. I believe that.