Wednesday, December 2, 2009
NINE-ONE-ONE--FOR THE LOVE OF ED
Hi, all. Once again I want to apologize for being a bad blog friend and not coming by to see any of you lately to see what's new and happening in your lives.
Been a busy, busy few days around here.
Yesterday morning, Ed and I spent a tedious two plus hours at our attorney's going over the bankruptcy proceedings, microscoping every minute detail, signing paperwork, and--finally--filing for bankruptcy.
Our bankruptcy hearing date is set for January 11th.
As I have mentioned, on more than one occasion--in my little 'Confessions Of A Bankrupt Life' blog--this has indeed been a soul seizing, emotionally draining and exhausting process. So much so that even our attorney feels for us and what we've been through.
Upon completion of our paperwork and said bankruptcy filing, our attorney then sent two important faxes yesterday that will now change our lives: one to the levying officer and the other fax to Ed's personnel office to immediately cease and desist the $1000.00 a month garnishment on Ed's wages.
The hearing coming up in January is with a court appointed mediator to determine the facts and whether our debts can indeed be erased.
The balance and future of our whole lives now rests in the hands of someone we've never met and who doesn't know us from a can of paint.
We are nothing but numbers on paper, and likely, this person will already have their mind made up before seeing us or speaking to us.
This could go either way.
As a result of yesterdays emotional morning, we were simply drained. Ed then later did some running around with 'J' (our 'oldest son') on an errand that took twice as long as he thought it would (about four hours) and we had an unexpected guest last night coupled with our usual crowd of extended family not leaving until nearly 9:00 p.m.
It's too much.
Ed typically gets up at 3:30 or 4:00 to get ready for work--he has to be in his office at 6:00 a.m.--which is an hour from us with NO TRAFFIC.
He was late for work this morning.
Then something happened last night that snapped my priorities back where they need to be and, as a result, today feelings will get hurt.
I heard a crash in our bathroom. It sounded as if Ed was getting noisily in the shower. I thought; 'Wow--it's 4:00 a.m. already???'
Then I looked at the clock: it was only 11:00 p.m.
I hopped out of bed to find Ed lying on the bathroom floor against the open shower.
His skin was clammy, cold and sheet white--his eyes were open but unresponsive.
I called to him and...nothing.
I then called 9-1-1.
I explained to the lady what was happening (TRYING to anyway through my crying, shaking voice) and she was asking all the right questions:
"How old is your husband?"
"Has this happened before?"
"How did he fall?"
Um, I'm not sure--it looks like he got up to use the restroom and passed out.
Just then Ed started coming to.
I told him that I'm on the phone with 9-1-1 and that we're going to send an ambulance.
The lady could hear me talking to him and was asking about his condition.
Ed kept saying he's alright now, that he just got lightheaded.
I told him that he needs to go get checked out by a doctor.
He just kept repeating himself that he's fine--and that he's so sorry he scared me.
"Baby, I just need to make sure you're alright--you weren't responding. Please let us send an ambulance."
He said that he just got too hot in bed, took off his sweatshirt, got up to use the restroom and that he must've gotten up too fast 'cause the next thing he knew he felt light headed and wobbly. He doesn't remember how he got to the floor.
I told him, frankly and simply, that he appeared to have fallen and passed out.
In the meantime, I helped him back to bed and told the lady on the phone what he was saying and what's going on and that he appears to be awake and coherent.
I nonetheless wanted him to go in an ambulance and be checked out but he refused.
She said then to just keep an eye on him and not to hesitate to call them back if I felt he was getting worse and not better.
I thanked her and apologized, explaining that panic had set in seeing my husband lying on the bathroom floor unresponsive.
She was very kind saying she understood.
I wish I knew her name so I could call her today and thank her for staying with me on the phone.
Ed was now more coherent and just wanted to go back to bed.
I stayed awake for an hour and a half to two hours just watching him breathe in and out...
And right there I made the decision that we need to reclaim our lives back.
This is in no way the boys' fault but changes need to be made and lines drawn.
He can't keep going at the pace he is.
B (our son) wasn't home--he frequently stays at his sorta, kinda girlfriends house--but I wish he was home last night.
I'm making it clear that he needs to be home more at night--at least for a while.
I am also going to be making an appointment for Ed to get a physical and today I am having a 'family meeting' with all the boys.
It's hard to explain to young men what a marriage of over twenty years means. It's hard to explain what Ed and I mean to each other.
We are simply seen as 'Mom and Dad'--not as a husband and wife who have gone through more downs than ups but have still managed to hold onto each other--and everything we have--with white knuckles to remain in tact.
I have spent half of my born life with this man--and I'm not ready to lose that.
So, today boundaries will be set. Feelings will get hurt but I have to tell them: "I love you all very much--but I simply love Ed more."