Tuesday, November 24, 2009
LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
Do I dare? Do I dare spook it?
I don't know, I think I'm gonna have to...
For the first time in the year and a half since we lost our home and began this nightmare--I feel...wait for it, now, here it comes--HOPEFUL.
After a very kind phone call from our attorney, I feel uplifted. We are meeting with him on Monday, Dec. 1st at 9:00 a.m. (EDIT: I meant Tuesday, Dec 1st--not Monday) He is ready to knock this out! He needs the fax number for the payroll dept. at Ed's work so as we can immediately get the $1000.00 a month garnishment stopped.
Ed gets paid on Thursday, Dec. 3rd--we're hoping it won't be too late to stop it on that paycheck, but...if not, the next pay check (on the 17th) will be $500.00 less anemic. That means we can actually buy a Christmas a tree and a few gifts....
Not only that, but he offered to reimburse us the $45.00 we paid for our mandatory on-line credit counseling as a show of good faith. $45.00 is GOLD to me--I'm elated.
I've had this perpetual gnawing in my stomach for well over a year now--a dull ache. And then, just yesterday, a knot formed in the base of my lower back. You can actually feel it there--like a softball just settling against a fence, with no breeze or movement to get it to shove along...
Ed and 'J' (our 'oldest son') both tried to work it out but, it remained unmoved.
I've lost weight, gained weight, over slept and not slept enough.
We haven't eaten out, we haven't gone to movies (unless it was courtesy of a gift card through a vendor--which has been months now) and we certainly haven't traveled.
We haven't been living and have confined ourselves to our own little corner of the universe. Well, truth be told--more myself than Ed: ignoring phone calls, not making any and having people come to me instead of me venturing out into what I have come to perceive as the 'big, bad world' and all who inhabit it.
My dirty little secret? I'm borderlining 'agoraphobia', mostly keeping company with my prized Pez dispenser collection.
Pretty 'effing' pathetic.
I've cried more times than I can count and had given up hope of ever having a life resembling normal again.
Could it be that hope is resurfacing?
I feel like crying again--only this time, they're happy tears--and I'm holding out hope for hope.
I may even have to change the title of my blog--whoda thunk it?
Should that be the case--if, in fact, I'm not hoping too much here--any suggestions?