Thursday, September 17, 2009


'Thursday Tirade' is sponsored by the letter 'P'.

P is for pretentious.

I seem to have a love-hate relationship with The Food Network Channel. More notably, with a few of it's stars:

Giada De Laurentiis.

We're perfectly aware she was born in Rome as she reminds us every opportunity she gets. However, she was RAISED in America and the only accent she has is the one that she CREATES for herself in her over-annunciations:


'PanceTTa' with an over pronounced 't' sound.

Then, to really drive it home--she makes an excuse to keep saying the word over and over...

For example: 'So, here I've grated a cup of fresh moozerellllaahh. Can you see how good that moozerellllaahh is? This is really fresh moozerellllaahh. So, now I'm going to take the moozerellllaahh and in the pasta I'm going to add in the moozerellllaahh and let the moozerellllaahh melt in the pasta now with the moozerelllaahh in it to give the pasta that fresh moozerelllaahh taste.'

Um, after the first time, just say 'cheese'--we are cerebrally equipped. We get it.

I also follow her on 'Twitter'.

Why? Apparently I'm a masochist.

In one of her tweets she writes that she feels as if she should apologize for her many typos.

There are no typos--her punctuation, spelling--perfect.

Then she goes on to say; 'Remember, English is my SECOND language'.

Get over yourself.

Even her tweets are pretentious.

But, Ed likes her boobs cooking. So, we keep tuning in.

Then there's Ina Garten.

Yes, we get it. You live in The Hamptons. You have glamorous and rich friends.

Yes, we get it. You cook with a lot of salmon to show those of us who make 'Hamburger Helper' what kitchen losers we really are.

And yes, you can afford the 'best' ingredients--we get that, too:

'Make sure you only use good vanilla'.

'Make sure to use the best cocoa'.

'Make sure you only use fresh herbs picked straight from the garden'.

Hey, Ina--make sure to pick up your local grocers special on 'Hamburger Helper'--2 for $3.00.

Make sure to use only the best water.

But, Ed likes her boobs cooking, so we keep tuning in.

And in an unrelated Food Network rant, I now bring you the letters A and C for animal cruelty.

I read on-line this morning that Jon Gosselin of 'Jon and Kate Plus Hate Eight' is getting rid of their two German Sheppard dogs, Shoka and Nala, that they've had for at least a year.

He's sending them back to the breeders from whence they came.

He claims that he's doing this because 'Kate doesn't take care of the dogs when she's here'.

I don't know if this is true or not. I'm obviously not there to refute or verify those claims but the only things that seem to be clear here are this:

Neither Jon NOR Kate have properly taught those kids how to behave around animals. I have seen the little ones pull, push and tug on those dogs and any other animal they come in contact with.

And by 'little ones', I mean FIVE year olds, not one or two year olds.

I've seen them get taken to petting zoos etc., where the establishments are the ones having to tell these monsters children NOT to grab and pull and tug while the parents aren't doing anything to teach them right and wrong.

Back to Shoka and Nala--the dogs in question. The kids did not ask for these dogs--their parents, in an episode last year, simply announced one day that they were 'adding to their family' and getting the kids TWO dogs, which were already picked out and named by Jon and Kate--giving the kids no responsibility or choices in the matter.

However, I feel very strongly that it's not too late to teach them how to care for these dogs.

Again, the youngest are five--certainly old enough to not only be taught right and wrong, but to also be given chores such as feeding, watering and bathing their furry family members.

Their two oldest kids (twin girls Cara and Mady) are ten for crying out loud!

In addition to it not being too late to teach these kids how to love and care for pets--especially ones they've had for well over a year--give them some responsibilities.

It'll help make them better and more compassionate citizens and Shoka and Nala will give nothing but unconditional love in return.

Through Jon's statement about giving the dogs back to the breeder (and what will happen to them then???), it seems he is trying punish Kate.

In the end, though--it's only Shoka and Nala who are, sadly, being punished.

Sad, wrong and disgusting.


  1. loved the rant about the cooking channel... especially with the quote: "make sure to use the best water" hahahaha... you show 'em!

    as for the dogs.. I never understood why they got the dogs in the beginning... but am not surprised at all they are giving them back... I am so over Jon and Kate

    Thanks so much for playing in the Thursday Tirade today!!

  2. I so agree about Giada De Laurentiis. I sometimes turn down the volume just so I dont have to hear her...haha

    But I so must disagree(for the very first time since reading your blogs) Ina rocks! Yes she is a tad snotty, dare I say over the top...but I just cant help myself..I love her..

    Jon and Kate who? haha I believe there 15 minutes should have ended a long time ago.

    as always my dear Jo, Ive enjoyed our visit;)

  3. This post was hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh! I seriously needed that! :o)

  4. I don't watch much TV so I haven't caught either of those cooks on the cooking channel; I'll have to see if my hubby, who watches a lot of TV, has; I did hear about the Kate/Jon incident about the dogs; personally I think the dogs will be better off away from them and I'm sure they won't have any trouble finding good homes for them; just hope they get to stick together


  5. Hi Lady! I do so enjoy the way YOU write. I agree with you, I dislike pretentiousness. I dislike reality tv, too... though I have caught a few shows from time to time. lol.
    Hope the dogs find a good home.

  6. That was a great read about the food channel and I agree totally. Giada drives me bananas but I like Ina, even with her uppity friends. Have you ever noticed she wears the same clothes every day? She must have a hundred black blouses and pants. With her money I would think she could afford a designer to design something more flattering.

    I am glad that Jon and Kate's dogs are going back to the breeder. They will be better off. They need to be somewhere where they will get the attention and care they deserve.

  7. Hi Jo,
    You are so awesome ,Jo. I was so moved reading your KIND comments. Thank you so much.

  8. You ARE a masochist for following Giada. At least follow Paula and you will get the mis-spellings and mis-tweets. I have the same gripes about Giada. Plus she is so mean to the contestants on The Next Food Network star and acts like she's above everyone. We all know I went to Le Cordon Bleu, honey, but we don't give one iota of a crapola.

    Now, Ina on the other hand . .I understand what you're saying about the "good" thing. I want to tell her, "well, I use generic imitation vanilla in my baking so I guess it must taste like doggie poop and not be worth serving to haughty Hamptonites (or whatever the heck you call them)." But, she is so sweet, you just want to hug her and that one guy she's always cooking for, her "friend", mmmmm he's delicious! NOT her husband, but the tall gray haired yummy one. ;)

    As far as Jon and Kate go. Does Jon really take care of the dogs? Come on now. We all know they have a staff that probably does about everything except wipe their butts. Right? These dogs were part of the "show" from the beginning and that's just sad. Ruin the kids lives and now ruin the dogs lives. I'm sure someone will adopt them right up--they are/were Jon and Kate's dogs.

    Geez! I should have written my own blog! ;)

  9. Yikes ! I need to proofread before I post. I meant "she", Giada went to Le Cordon Bleu. Me . .I'm just a boring ol' housewife.

  10. well, we don't get your "cooking shows" on our tv but provide me the names and i really want to see and laff more at Giada and Ina..I will see them on you tube.
    i started laffing about these two very unreal women, but at the end when you mentioned that the two dogs were to be sent to away and the kids and no one actually was taking care of, i felt soo bad.. is this some sort of reality show or something? why do they do that with those who just can't understand what the heck is "reality show".. im unhappy about the dogs

  11. I have not once ever found anything on Ina's show that I would actually make. Not once. I am a sucker for Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. I love seeing all the cool, out of the way places he goes to. And Paula Deen. I love anyone who will use tons of butter and lots of potatoes when they are cooking. I want Paula to adopt me and cook for me. (And Giada is married to the son of a friend of my husband's, or something like that, so I won't talk crap about her on here, I will just continue to do that in my own home! LOL.)

  12. Giada drives me nuts. She's pretty, blah blah blah, her food looks tempting, blah, blah, blah, but I wouldn't want to hang out with the chick. I also don't care for Ina or her cooking.
    I love me some Paula Deen and Emeril!