Friday, September 4, 2009


B, my 19 year old son, and his girlfriend of almost one year broke up today.

In addition to my sons broken heart--there is also now to be contended with the dividing of assets; primarily the friends they have 'accumulated' together.

Right now, B is in defense mode; "I don't give a &%@#"! We all know that this is him simply licking his wounds and mending his pride trying not to show how hurt he truly is.

The friends he's had before she came along are naturally still going to be here--these are friends he's had for a long time. They are not going anywhere and, as I told him--and which he naturally knows to be true--the ones that remain are the ones that were meant to be. Lack of friends was never a problem for B--he and his close knit group are indeed quite loyal to one another.

The fact remains, however, that there are now logistics that simply have to be worked out and dealt with. They all started junior college together and she and B arranged to have the same classes and schedule.

THAT'S not going to be awkward!!!

Then there is the parking permit; she paid for it, he drives. So, in his haste he gave it back to her. Now he has to contend with attaining another one (more money!!!) before Tuesday (no school on Monday, of course, due to it being Labor Day).

She and--perhaps even, depending on how this all plays out--some of the others whom he drives will now be looking elsewhere for their transportation needs until they can get cars of their own. OR, like B, use their Mom's.

In addition to the sides that have already seemingly been drawn (the potential loss of friendships), B will now have less people to help pitch in for gas and such.

However, we all saw this coming--their relationship has been unraveling for a while now--it was in fact her and him I blogged about yesterday in my 'Thursday Tirade'. There has been no warmth from her displayed, only control and having to absolutely have things her way with no compromising to the point where it caused dissension.

We all saw this and just stood back and waited with protected armor for the debris and shrapnel to fall upon all of us emotionally invested in them.

Trust me, not that B is perfect by any means but I can tell you that he was indeed pretty damned good to her.

I will nonetheless still grieve her presence and continuity in our lives and mostly that of B's.

We love her and don't wish her ill.

B has had two girlfriends--he's not the kind of young man that goes from girl to girl to girl. The first one was a two year relationship that ended a good six or seven months before he met the one he was just with.

I had to mourn her, as well. That was tough.

Although I love her and her presence will be missed by me, 'this one' (like she's a mackerel or something! Sheesh, Jo!) will be a little easier emotionally (I didn't get too close), but more difficult logistically.

So much still to work out--none more so than the healing that needs to take place.

Perhaps this is just temporary--who knows? But if it's not, let's hope that the time that heals all wounds, does so quickly.

I will, at a later date, have to go back and edit my sidebars pictures and such. What a sad, sad day....


  1. Some of life's lessons are being learned in and through this break up. He will grow stronger and wiser.
    Blessings, andrea

  2. why are the biggest lessons always the hardest? Life can bite sometimes, thankfully being young and having this kind of pain helps you in older days. I wish you, your son and his ex peace and happiness.

    Time heals my friend:)

  3. I am sorry for the break up - my first semester I broke up with my high school boyfriend it was tough because we shared several classes together and I was a little sister to his Frat house.. break ups are tough at any age for everyone...
    Love to you.

  4. One thing I've learned. If your kid goes through it, you go through it. It's unavoidable. Best of luck to you all. Time does heal. Your writing is refreshing. I enjoy reading you.

  5. Happy SITS Saturday... even if I'm not posting until Sunday. I've gone through this a couple of times with my 23 year old. It's hard to find the right balance of "staying out of it" and your own feelings about losing the SO. A very good post - refreshing is right.


  6. Breaking up with someone is never easy, much less someone whom you've been dating for a year. My sympathy to your son.

  7. So sorry to hear this. I like to think that everything happens for a reason though. :) There's some deeper, as of yet unknown reason as to why this may actually be a good thing.

  8. ugh... that is tough... best of luck to him!