Friday, September 4, 2009
BROKEN HEARTS AND THE DIVIDING OF ASSETS
B, my 19 year old son, and his girlfriend of almost one year broke up today.
In addition to my sons broken heart--there is also now to be contended with the dividing of assets; primarily the friends they have 'accumulated' together.
Right now, B is in defense mode; "I don't give a &%@#"! We all know that this is him simply licking his wounds and mending his pride trying not to show how hurt he truly is.
The friends he's had before she came along are naturally still going to be here--these are friends he's had for a long time. They are not going anywhere and, as I told him--and which he naturally knows to be true--the ones that remain are the ones that were meant to be. Lack of friends was never a problem for B--he and his close knit group are indeed quite loyal to one another.
The fact remains, however, that there are now logistics that simply have to be worked out and dealt with. They all started junior college together and she and B arranged to have the same classes and schedule.
THAT'S not going to be awkward!!!
Then there is the parking permit; she paid for it, he drives. So, in his haste he gave it back to her. Now he has to contend with attaining another one (more money!!!) before Tuesday (no school on Monday, of course, due to it being Labor Day).
She and--perhaps even, depending on how this all plays out--some of the others whom he drives will now be looking elsewhere for their transportation needs until they can get cars of their own. OR, like B, use their Mom's.
In addition to the sides that have already seemingly been drawn (the potential loss of friendships), B will now have less people to help pitch in for gas and such.
However, we all saw this coming--their relationship has been unraveling for a while now--it was in fact her and him I blogged about yesterday in my 'Thursday Tirade'. There has been no warmth from her displayed, only control and having to absolutely have things her way with no compromising to the point where it caused dissension.
We all saw this and just stood back and waited with protected armor for the debris and shrapnel to fall upon all of us emotionally invested in them.
Trust me, not that B is perfect by any means but I can tell you that he was indeed pretty damned good to her.
I will nonetheless still grieve her presence and continuity in our lives and mostly that of B's.
We love her and don't wish her ill.
B has had two girlfriends--he's not the kind of young man that goes from girl to girl to girl. The first one was a two year relationship that ended a good six or seven months before he met the one he was just with.
I had to mourn her, as well. That was tough.
Although I love her and her presence will be missed by me, 'this one' (like she's a mackerel or something! Sheesh, Jo!) will be a little easier emotionally (I didn't get too close), but more difficult logistically.
So much still to work out--none more so than the healing that needs to take place.
Perhaps this is just temporary--who knows? But if it's not, let's hope that the time that heals all wounds, does so quickly.
EDIT: I will, at a later date, have to go back and edit my sidebars pictures and such. What a sad, sad day....