Friday, August 28, 2009


THE TRIBE HAS SPOKEN

Or..."Is It Just Me?--part deux"

Ever follow someone--maybe even promote their blog (perhaps via a logo) on yours--only to then realize; "Um, I don't think I really like you anymore"?

Has this happened to anyone else?

Well, after reading one such blog this morning, I realize; I don't much care for this person.

I'm the first to admit that I am far from being everyone's 'cup 'o tea'. I am what my Mom would call 'an acquired taste'.

I'm certainly not for everyone and am old enough--God knows--to realize that we can't please all people anyway.

However, were someone to follow me and then suddenly stop and remove themselves as a follower--I guess I would have to ask myself "why?". I think it only right if we judge others (you know who you are) then we should be fair and brave enough to judge ourselves.

And after writing this blog this morning, I, too, may experience some loss of followers and may very well have to sit down and have that good heart to heart with myself. Or a drink. Either one.

Not always good in my case as I am quite harsh on myself and seem to need approval; call it the 'youngest of nine syndrome'--or neurosis if you want to get all technical.

So, I'm reading said blog this morning--that shall go nameless--and thought; "What a serious pompous ass this person is!" Seriously.

Complaining about not getting into their favorite restaurant--which they frequent regularly--'cause someone else had the nerve to reserve it for a private occasion. How dare someone retire, get promoted, get married or celebrate a birthday when this person and their family are hungry! The sheer audacity.

Then the blogger goes on to write that they had to go--gasp!!--somewhere else and that the kitchen actually made this persons spouse and child something to eat that wasn't on the menu to pacify and appease them. Now, the child I can maybe understand: Fussy eater? Allergies? But the spouse?

Now, I could be wrong, but if you are blessed to be able to live in a lovely, enviable area (which no doubt was worked hard for; I'm not saying that it isn't deserved or earned) and are equally blessed to frequent ANY restaurant on a regular basis, then in my book you are blessed enough.

Most of us would like your problems for five minutes.

Now, since I was a new follower of this blog, I don't particularly feel any guilt about removing myself what-so-ever.

This goes right along with those to whom you comment on their blogs regularly (not just once) but who have never ONCE commented on yours.

So, the tribe has spoken. You are so off the island.

So, my beautiful friends and bloggers, I once again ask that loaded question: Is it just me?

8 comments:

  1. What I do, is if Im interested in a blog, I follow it in private foer a bit, just to make sure its a fit:)

    My problem is with real people, ya know in person. How do ya "throw them off the island" once you realize you dont have as much in common as once thought??

    Happinesss to you my friend:)

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  2. Jo, I totally know what you mean. I use to follow a blog and this person started writing about their affair and how they wanted out, but kept entertaining the person. I stopped reading soon after. I think we were separated at birth. LOL

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  3. Nope it is not just you. I use to feel guilty for removing myself as a follower, but then I decided I am not obligated to keep my name on anyone's following gadget. Especially if I don't like the content. It seems to happen that after people start blogging their material changes as they find their niche or else they just stop altogether. Why promote their blog by putting your name on their page then? Don't feel bad, just move on and find someone better.

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  4. Hi there Jo. I don't think you have to feel guilty at all. I think I would look at it this way. Why follow a blog you don't like when you could easily find another you do like? I know I'm new to the whole blogging experience, but all the blogs I follow mean something to me. They make me laugh, some educate me, some help me to connect with people again, and some just distract me from the everyday grind. Your time is really valuable, why waste it? Get busy, find another blog you like!

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  5. Hi Jo,
    I am leaving my 2nd comment (woohoo!) and I too agree that you shouldn't give it a 2nd thought when you remove yourself as someone's follower!

    And might I recommend instead of following a blog with the follower's widget, but by email instead. This is done automatically through feedburner (look for the RSS feed symbol and it may be at the bottom) and the person you subscribe to does not know who the subscribers (readers) are. Then if you decide to cancel your email subscription, you should have absolutely no guilt!

    The only time I have removed myself from someone's follower widget is when I caught them lying consistently and I just can't tolerate that, especially when they start lying about their health and want sympathy and are oblivious to that fact. Funny when I confronted this person about their lies they took down every single post and slowly rebuilt the blog being very careful about what they said in their ramblings from that point on! When you read a blog daily, you can pick up on little inconsistencies and well, sometimes you just are sick of it--the whining especially!

    People can blog about whatever they want, but that doesn't mean that we have to read them! There are plenty of fish in the sea, as they say.

    And I like your comparison to Survivor (one of my favorite shows). Like Survivor, you will find some bloggers to be devious, liars, drug addicts, mental cases, etc. As they keep spewing out their opinions on everything in their head of racing thoughts and personal life on to the blog, it just makes them look, well sad & pathetic, no matter how fancy their words are. It's quite transparent, if you read carefully. You can tell when something just isn't right!

    Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing! But blog on sister! You have a great interesting blog!

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  6. This post made me laugh Jo, only because this happened to me recently. I used to have a blog roll of over 150 and it stressed me out so much. I used to follow blogs out of guilt, mostly, if someone became my follower, I followed theirs or if someone left a nice comment, I would follow their blog too. I used to reply to every single comment and on my old blog I tipped at 71 followers. I couldn't handle the pressure anymore because I'd get these emails from some women saying "why don't you comment on my blog anymore? you are hurting me...I'm always commenting on your blog..." UGH THE DRAMA. So I deleted my old blog and profile, and only started to follow less than 15 of my favourite blogs again...well, even MORE drama ensued because I was "hurting" people again by not following their blog publicly. I decided on a new approach...I only follow blogs where I find I have something in common with the blogger or I find their blogs amusing and positive.
    The whole drama was also the reason I have that disclaimer on my comment form about not accepting awards and that I may not reply to all the comments. I became an "awards dumpster" at one point and it lost all meaning for me.
    I guess how I feel now is that my blog is for me. I want to blog without obligation and if I meet some nice people and make friends along the way, that's just amazing!
    Also, you learn a lot about people when you stop following their blog. In a few cases, it was a tit for tat thing, I stopped following them so they immediately stopped following me, lol. I found that so immature and hillarious. In fact, I don't even have a "followers" gadget on my blog anymore because I'm not interested in how many people follow me! I know my attitude made some people upset with me, but honestly....you can't take it that personally right? I say if you don't like what you're reading, stop following and be done with it!
    Phewf! I guess you hit a little nerve for me, lol, I had a speech going there, ha ha ha!

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  7. Oh PS: I noticed something on your layout. If you go to your settings and change your template to "minima" instead of what you have now is it "thisaway blue"? It may solve the cutest logo problem, or it may not, lol!

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  8. Hey, screw 'em. My honest feeling is that those kind of self-absorbed people won't even notice you've gone (and that's sad for them, not you!) ...

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