Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A LEISURELY WALK AROUND THE BLOG
When I began this blog, I virtually knew nothing about the infrastructure of 'Blogspot' or the inner workings of blogging. I knew how to write--that's about it.
I suppose I started this for much the same reasons as everyone else: to share my life, my thoughts, to build a network of support, love, friendship, sisterhood/humankind-hood. As I've stated before, I don't have friends to go out with--I don't have that girls night out, the weekend get-a-way. I have my husband and my kids.
I have a daughter who will be 23 on Sept. 1st but whom I rarely get to see and spend time with (her choice--long, sad story for another day) and I have my son and his friends (a.k.a. "my other kids") who are the end all and be all of my social life. I am immensely grateful and thankful to have them.
I do have my friend, Scott, who has MS (whom I walk for and who inspired me in the MS Movement) but he lives in assisted living (*see my blog titled 'Many Scars' for more info on that). I also have Pat. Pat is a friend I knew back in junior high school (no, we were never an item, I dated his then best friend way back in the day). Pat lives about 30 minutes from us and in addition to being an L.A. Sheriff, he is also in the 'Army Reserves' and was recently 'shipped' to Kosovo for 12 to 15 months. Actually, right now he is in Indiana for a months training then off to Kosovo he goes, leaving behind a thirteen year old daughter and a nine year old daughter (he is divorced). Either way, he is now gone from my tangible life--and theirs. For a long time. Please wish him God speed.
So, here I am. A woman with a beautiful family (immediate and extended)--that includes my Mom and wonderful in-laws--who has much to say but really no one to say it to.
To burden my Mom and in-laws with our bankruptcy proceedings and colossal financial upsets is something I choose not to do.
I do have siblings (nine to be exact--I'm the youngest) but...we are primarily detached from one another except what seems only on national holidays: "Merry Christmas", "Happy Thanksgiving", "Happy Birthday", "Happy Hanukkah", "Kiss my ass", Kiss his ass", Kiss Your ass".
I've tried to include them, stay in touch, keep them posted on our Mom, on us...to attempt a bond that has been missing (enter 'Facebook'.....exit 'Facebook' a month later--did not go well...).
As I've stated before, they have a life already in progress and have made it clear that they do just fine without me. They're not cruel, just...absent and apathetic. There's been no offer of help to us--but let me make it clear; I have NOT asked nor would I. Not even sure I would take it as the truth is that even in my day-to-day hardships where I want so desperately to be removed from this miserable situation, I recognize that this is OUR problem and not theirs or anyone else's. Our attorney is the one who is letting us down and we're suffering the consequences of that while trying to figure out what to do and how to do it; contemplating where the money will come from for gas, utilities, food.
Last night I made Ed (hubby) three grilled cheese sandwiches ('B', our son, was at his girlfriends for dinner) and the only meat we had in the house was one leftover chicken frank that I sliced length wise and divided on Ed's grilled cheese so he could have a little protein. No chips or salad. That is simply what we had on hand.
THIS is what it's like day after day. Again, OUR problem and our attorney's. I didn't mean to suggest that my siblings are cruel and/or insensitive. I don't know really how much they know about how bad it really is--nor if I would even tell them. They know we lost our house, my job and are going bankrupt--beyond that, not sure. Again, this is not their problem--just wanted to reiterate that. Everyone has their own issues, I understand that fully. We're not the only ones going through this in the world.
And I post not for sympathy--but for empathy. Big difference.
But I digress--again. Told you I do that--a lot.
::Wonder where I put that pencil--the one where I chewed off the eraser::
::I need a pedicure::
::Damn, no money for a pedicure::
::Is it too early in the year to watch Halloween movies????::
::I need to change the vacuum cleaner bag::
So, being new here to the blogging universe--and being the cheeky gal that I am--I started poking around others' blogs. My God but your blogs are pretty!!
So, I wanted to make mine pleasing to the eye as well. However, with my blog title being rather dower (but...appropriate) I couldn't very well make it cheery, could I? Truth is, I couldn't make it anything! My pea-sized intellect just couldn't figure anything out.
So, Ed (hubby) helped me figure out how to add gadgets. Widgets? I know, wadgets.
So, through my sheer nosey-ness, I found the web-site 'The Cutest Little Blog On The Block'--through someone else's blog--and that's how I got my butterfly background. Not too bright & cheery and I like butterflies. Done.
But...not quite. I used to post the title of my blogs where they're supposed to be--in the title/subject box. However, after I added my butterfly background, I noticed the words "Cutest Little Blog On The Block" now blocking my post title and added picture--and I don't know how to move it to another spot on my blog.
Furthermore (can you believe after all this time there is a furthermore?? Told you I'm cheeky), I would like to change the look of my header/banner--instead of just having the standard 'Blogspot' navy blue. Of course, I don't know how to do that either--I have looked around and found it isn't as easy as it was adding the background.
There's all these sites that you can pay to have someone do it for you--well, it's nice if you can do that. I, of course, can't. They're all lovely--but, priorities abound.
So, my rant, my soliloquy is quite finished.
My blog stays as it is. My apologies.
I'm just happy to be here. Really. Stop looking at me like that.
Thank you all for the much blog love I've been receiving--you are all talented, gifted and very welcome in my life. I'm happy to know all of you and wish you all well, as you have been so kind as to wish me and our situation.
Your support and encouragement is deeply, heartfelt-ly appreciated.
Peace, love and happiness,